7 Keys to Abundance in Our Relationships

Real and true Abundance - across the board in all areas of life - means that we are placing a top priority on abundance within our relationships. Yes, this is your significant other or spouse, and it is also all the rest of the people in your life! Relationships take effort, and yet the rewards are beyond measure.

Perhaps it is most healthy to view relationships in terms of a passionate investment of yourself in those around you. Although I use the term 'investment', this is not to imply that there is an expected reward, or that the 'investment' is made in order to gain a certain reward. Not at all. It means that you invest of yourself primarily for their reward.

When you practice these 8 keys to abundance in your relationships, you are making an investment in abundance:

1) Always base your communication firmly in your principles, or personal integrity.

Those who have read my work know that 'integrity' is a central aspect of my profession. I believe that when we have clearly defined our principles - our set of inner, core values as an individual - we have defined our personal integrity. This is the water well from which we draw the waters of our life. In fact, I advocate clearly writing out the 10 top aspects of your personal integrity and refining it as your life evolves over time.

Once we have professed our personal integrity, we can define and align our central motives, which drive all our ambition. It is from this foundation that we build abundance in every aspect of life.

The first key to abundance in our relationships is how we communicate; it must stem from our foundation of personal integrity. It cannot be compromised by its very nature; integrity by definition is unbreakable or uncompromised. When we 'speak from the heart' we are communicating from personal integrity.

2) Seek a healthy, consistent balance.

When integrity comes first, balance comes in a close second. How can I expect to have healthy, balanced relationships when I am out of balance? It will be difficult at best to be effective (at least in the long term), if I cannot regain proper balance. Balance in relationships, however goes beyond our own personal sense of balance.

It is easy for relationships to settle into routines, and at times these routines are lopsided, or unbalanced. For example: we can have too much talk or, not enough talk; too much sex, or not enough; all work and no vacation, etc. A balance should be achieved for abundance to take hold.

3) Unceasing attentiveness.

Unfortunately, human nature tends to be quite understandably selfish, and yet very often we do not consider ourselves to be selfish. Ultimately, nobody can know your own reality, except you. Nobody can stand in your shoes but you. Therefore, our very nature is to attend to our own needs first, and be best in touch with our own little piece of the world.

Abundant relationships require that we are attentive - unceasingly attentive - to the needs, wants, feelings, and dignity of those around us. In the most abundant relationships, we are trying to reach into the other person's world and imagine - or be sensitive to - their needs and reality. From this place comes attentiveness. If we genuinely care for the other person, and desire an abundant relationship, attentiveness should be something we want to do, and evolve naturally over time.

4) Whenever possible, plan your outcome or desired result.

Although it is not always possible or even reasonable, keep in mind a desired result when talking to anyone. Think or project ahead and imagine the best, or most desirable, outcome in any given situation or conversation. Try to project or consider the possible 'consequences' or reactions to actions and words.

I am not suggesting that one should become "calculating" or in any way scheming; I am suggesting that it is often healthy to imagine a desired result in order to set a guideline for your own conduct or manner of speaking. Then, expect to compromise or even change completely, in order to accommodate the needs of the other person. Very often achieving abundance is not so much about your needs as it is about meeting the needs of others!

5) Pick your battles and be ready to give it a rest.

I once had a business mentor who said to me: "Hey, I live by two major rules in life. First, don't sweat the small stuff. And second, it's all small stuff!" That saying still means a lot to me. In the grand scheme of things - under the vastness of the cosmos of the universe - it's all small stuff. The point is that we should give careful thought to exactly what is important enough to worry about or concern ourselves about.

As an example: If I want my son to clean up his room and I am a bit angry in that moment that he is living so disgustingly...how important is this, really? First of all, is my concern really more about my want? What if instead of yelling at him, I said: "Let's go for a ride and take a look at some baseball gloves?" Then, when his mood is changed and my son is receptive, I can plan my conversation with a desired outcome in mind. Perhaps I can diplomatically explain that keeping his room clean says something about his caring for himself and respecting the feelings of those that share his home. Maybe in addition I provide some sort of incentive as well. This is just one simple example of 'picking my battles'.

Then there comes a time when it makes sense to "give it a rest." There is a time for everything and there are times when 'it' should be left alone. Be careful not to press your agenda too hard. Abundance is rarely ever forced; it comes as a result of a natural, sensitively planned course of action.

6) Treat others with dignity, respect, and equality.

Let's face it, the most challenging thing we humans do is communicate effectively over the long-term. There are, however, ways to stack the cards in favor of building success and abundance. In terms of relationships, the way you think about the other person will be evident not only in your words, but also evident in reactions to those words.

Very often we get back what we give out. When we begin by treating others with dignity, respect, and a sense of equality, the chances are great that we will be treated in the same manner. Relationships based in dignity, respect, and equality are bound for abundance.

7) Know when to "let go and have some fun."

Not a lot needs to be said on this last point. Once again, this is all about building and maintaining a healthy balance. After all, our tiny planet tends to be too serious in nature. If we all make it a point to make time for humor, laughter, fun, or simply a break from the routine, we are reinforcing our bonds.

I will end with a humorous quote from Mr. Zig Ziglar. Please replace the word "wife" with whatever is appropriate. "If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you will never end up with a nag." (Zig Ziglar) I wish you a lifetime of abundance in your relationships.

Kurt Turrell ( http://www.KurtTurrell.com ) is a business consultant, lifestyle coach, entrepreneur, and author. With over 20 years in hotels, management, education, and life skills development, Kurt is an authority on many areas of business, management, sales and marketing, and business streamlining, as well as helping individuals to achieve abundance and success in all areas of life/living. Go to: http://KurtTurrell.com to get "Lifetime Success in 6 Simple Steps" completely free.